There Is Apparently A Burglar With A Huuuuge Mouth Running Wild In England
I hope the good people of Warwickshire have their heads on a swivel, because there is a goddamn monster loose in their town. Some Pac-Man looking motherfucker is out here robbing folks of their hard earned cash and then (probably) eating their cats and small dogs on his way out the door. I imagine there is also a good chance the suspect could be wearing a top hat since this happened in jolly old England. Luckily I have prepared a sketch of what the suspect would look like with a top hat on and his signature mouth shut.
But seriously, shout out to the sketch artists for mailing in their day, downloading the most prototypical burglar picture ever, and slapping a Snapchat filter along with some sexy ass lipstick. Truly Mailtime Hall of Fame stuff. Either that or the local mongoloid of Warwickshire decided to turn to a life of crime despite having the biggest tell ever because he had been called a scruffy white Number Muncher one too many times.
P.S. Good luck sleeping tonight.
